People Who Love You

We all have a past. We all have secrets. Dark skeltons that lurk in the dark corners of our minds. We all have things we haven't been able to utter for the fear of the reaction that they might cause. Our past shapes us, creates us, moulds us into who we were a week ago, who we are right now, who we will be in a year. Our experiences alter us. Our relationships with people give us a basis for future relationships.

But despite our experiences, sometimes we still manage to fall into the same trap that we found ourselves in maybe 2 weeks ago, maybe seven months ago or prehaps even 2 years ago. Sometimes we have a complete inability to learn from our screw-ups. And when they repeat themselves, we're left standing clueless as we were the first time it happened.

Admittedly, the confusion would be easier to recognise if we could only stop hurting. The constant dull thump of saddness that engulfs us, renders us stupid and blank. Unable to do anything except stay still and try not to think too hard.

Because, all of a sudden, we've been left to make sense of an entire situation we did not see coming. A situation which is looking more and more impossible. The emotions we're feeling defy reason. We know because we are actually being reasoned with. We're even acknowledging the logic in what people are saying. It seems irrelevant though because all we want to do is talk to whoever is causing the hurt and just simply understand. Understand their reasons for doing this. Because from where you're standing, it isnt making much sense.

At some point though, while we're still hurt by events, a slow realisation creeps over us. That not everything in our life is ruined. That we are still standing. Maybe not as strong as we'd like, but we're still here. Just a little less. But we're not broken. Slightly fractured, sure. But irretrivably shattered. Not quite.

Because, if you're lucky, you will still have good people in your life. People who are willing to listen to you as you sit and mope and try to make sense of it all. People who stand by you. People who only have to hear your voice for a moment, that dulled "Hey" to realise somethings wrong and who are immediately asking you whats wrong, whats happened. Sometimes, you'll have friends drop everything to come take you out for a drive and just let you talk and ramble on and on as you try to move forward from this. People who are just there to remind you that you're an awesome person who doesn't deserve to be treated this way. It's down to these people...these friends that you can feel the fractures around your bones healing.

And slowly, ever so slowly, you can feel yourself getting better, standing a little straighter, concentrating on other facts, on other topics. The hurt is receding. Not totally gone, not by a long shot. But knowing you have other people. People who genuinely care. Who will help you through this.

People who love you.